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A decade of changing designations, changing relationship status, changing personalities and changing life; the last decade brought with it so many changes in our lives. Like all of us. A few changed their country and some came back home; and for me the game changed so much. From a credit rating officer to a wife, then a mom, a business women and a blogger. The last decade was a fun-on game changer but indeed a wonderful one.
While I look back to all that changed in the last decade, one thing that can not go unnoticed is the change in the meaning of love. Love now seems more practical and real to me; with genuine commitments and realistic approach. And for those who do not agree with me on this, I’ll ask you this at the end of the post.
Some New Love Mantras
Car before “Sarkaar”
“You are the love of my life”. This line is still used by guys but certainly not for their wife or girlfriend. The first love of any guy is his car. They can compromise on or with anything but their car. Ferrari or not, the possessiveness doesn’t get affected. Gone are those days when the “Jo tera hai who mera hai” (what’s your is mine) applied post marriage. There are certain things that guys (or in many cases even girls) cannot compromise on. And one of that surely is their car.
Your Money is Your Money, Not My Money
The last decade was a decade of decision making for many of us. And in the middle of those decisions, one that was made by many was the financial decision. The roles in our life changes quite many times but one thing that remains unchanged is the craze of spending your hard-earned money. It is quite prominent in most of the relationships now that money game has changed a lot. The dates are no more just sponsored by the guy and Valentine’s Day implies equal spending for both. While a relationship shouldn’t be associated with money at all, but the reality is that people are now getting smarter and clear on these grounds. Both men and women now do not like to be dependent on the other for their financial needs and this is something that I love about the changes that the decade brought.
The Zone of Tigers are Fix
My mom after use to say that your husband’s house will be your own house. Well now, 7 years in marriage, this house is more of my house. Amongst the changes that the last decade got, was a change in the outlook of managing a home. We and many couples like us feel that in a relationship it’s very important to set some grounds. While the husband has all the control of his office (in my case it surely is for he owns a business), the house is my territory. When and how I wish to bring a change in it is mostly my decision. Having said that, I certainly do not mean that a husband shouldn’t have a say in the household matters or a wife cannot talk business. All I want to say is that when you divide your areas of work, things becomes more manageable and easy. A mutual consent is of course important but when you have the authority of a place, that place becomes your own. Especially in case of a newlywed women, who enters a new house post marriage, the authority of managing it makes her feel less homesick and more comfortable.
We’re 2 Jism 2 Jaan
One of the chief things I learnt in the last decade was that the romantic talks, cheesy dialogues and reading the mind only exists in Bollywood masala movies. Done are those days when the honeymoon meant spending hours together on a hill top or in the hotel room. Honeymoons are more of holidays and adventures and being cheesy doesn’t exist in our dictionary (Ok, in my case in do exists in mine). So the bottom line is that love does exist but behind the doors and not in public. Now a tiny kiss on the forehead is more meaningful than that on the lips. Now this 2 jism ek jaan funda doesn’t work in most of the cases, especially in my case.
Me Time isn’t We Time
Even if you do not agree with me on the above points, this one would surely be true in the case of many of you. While a couple loves to stay together, there are time when both or just one would need his/her personal space and time. And that’s absolutely acceptable. Many of you (women) would think that this applies only in the case of a men, let me stop you here and say, this also applies to us. We women (especially I) complain a lot about our husbands spending less time with the family but given a chance, we would also love to sit alone for a while with our cup of tea or a favourite book. It’s important to spend time with each other and the family, it’s also important to have your own space the let the other one have their. What do you think?
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While the decade is gone, it left behind a few changes in our life. Good or bad; I leave that to you to figure it out.
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Untill Next time
Stay Trending
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Hey Parul, I totally agree with you on being financially independent and me time is just my own personal time. It irritates me when he comes in between and I have to leave something I am doing. Maybe just reading a post is disturbed if that’s my me time.
The world is changing and so are we for good. Wish you loads of luck.
Such a stylish and practical take on last decade Parul. I agree with all the points you had mentioned. especially me time is not we time..nowadays everyone needs their own space and me time. of course, so many other things also had been changed but at the end, it is always more about maintaining a balance and feeling of trust, love and care in a relationship..it is most important decade ago, will remain most important even after passing this decade too. loved funny presenting style of yours.
That’s true love is a fantasy world which we learn from time to time and get matured about it. And more point agrees with you that women need space in their life. In fact these days I have seen many of my female gone for vacation without their husband. It’s necessary to have a break from daily life so that we women can feel a little lighter.
Nice post
Some bang on learnings and life lessons for a happy life. I absolutely loved the 2 jism 2 jaan thing. I wish more men and women understood the concept of personal space in a marriage.
Your thoughts reminded me of Ayn Rand. Individualistic. Independent. Practical. Ofcourse, I do not agree with all what you have posted. But then as the french say, Viva la difference! – Rohit Verma
You have placed very strong points here regarding the changing scenario of love. I liked your take on Me Time.
Awesome post related to Decade prompt. Thanks for writing
#readbypreetispanorama
Come to think of it, I would probably say the same things myself since I’ve been married for 13 years now. Romantic mushy love is overrated. I would love to have my own stuff to do and love it without my husband feeling ignored or threatened. Same applies to him. And yes, we take household decisions together although I like him to let me prioritise.
Very well written and expressed, Parul. I agree with you, last decade has seen a change in the terms of love and I could relate to your points especially me time. I love my me time and it’s definitely not we time.
this is amazing!! I loved Your money is your money thing!
We do always need our me time and family time is what keeps the bond stronger. I love your take at love, though it is a little complicated, looks like a really wonderful experience. Lovely reading your post. like you said stay trending.
–rightpurchasing
An interesting post and creative take on the prompt. My idea of love has changed in the last decade but not in the ways you have outlined here. Of course, I do appreciate some me-time, as does my husband!
Agree with every single word here. Time has changed and so do mindsets. If taken in a positive way, it is always for good. 🤗
loved the touch of realism in your post. Me time is super important if we need to remain sane!
Such a frank post, Parul. You’ve been so candid about sharing the thoughts vs the reality that life teaches us. What I appreciated most is that it is humorous and wise, even as it speaks plain facts. Loved reading this one!
Unique way to see how you described love. Keep writing
Very keen observation regarding the changes in this decade. Excellent creativity. Best Wishes
Hahaha.. I read a few lines to my husband. In my case my husband’s first love is his phone. Both of them are inseparable. I hated it initially but now have given up. that is why our me-time mostly is doing our own things in our own phones. This is giving space to each other too.
This is just so relatable. Sums up my marriage story as well. Not too overly or filmy romantic, just enough for us to love each other and also respect out privacy.
The decade has definitely gifted us with changing times and your take on the theme is so apt. I do relate to some of the points you have mentioned here. The me time thing is bang on! Glad to have you on board 🙂
Good humor laden post Parul. I liked the structure and flow of the post. And more importantly the quirky sub headings. We have definitely come a long way in the last decade how families used to live and the amount of load sharing of a household on men and women. Liked your perspective and take.
#DecadeHop #RRxMM