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A decade of changing designations, changing relationship status, changing personalities and changing life; the last decade brought with it so many changes in our lives. Like all of us. A few changed their country and some came back home; and for me the game changed so much. From a credit rating officer to a wife, then a mom, a business women and a blogger. The last decade was a fun-on game changer but indeed a wonderful one.
While I look back to all that changed in the last decade, one thing that can not go unnoticed is the change in the meaning of love. Love now seems more practical and real to me; with genuine commitments and realistic approach. And for those who do not agree with me on this, I’ll ask you this at the end of the post.
Some New Love Mantras
Car before “Sarkaar”
“You are the love of my life”. This line is still used by guys but certainly not for their wife or girlfriend. The first love of any guy is his car. They can compromise on or with anything but their car. Ferrari or not, the possessiveness doesn’t get affected. Gone are those days when the “Jo tera hai who mera hai” (what’s your is mine) applied post marriage. There are certain things that guys (or in many cases even girls) cannot compromise on. And one of that surely is their car.
Your Money is Your Money, Not My Money
The last decade was a decade of decision making for many of us. And in the middle of those decisions, one that was made by many was the financial decision. The roles in our life changes quite many times but one thing that remains unchanged is the craze of spending your hard-earned money. It is quite prominent in most of the relationships now that money game has changed a lot. The dates are no more just sponsored by the guy and Valentine’s Day implies equal spending for both. While a relationship shouldn’t be associated with money at all, but the reality is that people are now getting smarter and clear on these grounds. Both men and women now do not like to be dependent on the other for their financial needs and this is something that I love about the changes that the decade brought.
The Zone of Tigers are Fix
My mom after use to say that your husband’s house will be your own house. Well now, 7 years in marriage, this house is more of my house. Amongst the changes that the last decade got, was a change in the outlook of managing a home. We and many couples like us feel that in a relationship it’s very important to set some grounds. While the husband has all the control of his office (in my case it surely is for he owns a business), the house is my territory. When and how I wish to bring a change in it is mostly my decision. Having said that, I certainly do not mean that a husband shouldn’t have a say in the household matters or a wife cannot talk business. All I want to say is that when you divide your areas of work, things becomes more manageable and easy. A mutual consent is of course important but when you have the authority of a place, that place becomes your own. Especially in case of a newlywed women, who enters a new house post marriage, the authority of managing it makes her feel less homesick and more comfortable.
We’re 2 Jism 2 Jaan
One of the chief things I learnt in the last decade was that the romantic talks, cheesy dialogues and reading the mind only exists in Bollywood masala movies. Done are those days when the honeymoon meant spending hours together on a hill top or in the hotel room. Honeymoons are more of holidays and adventures and being cheesy doesn’t exist in our dictionary (Ok, in my case in do exists in mine). So the bottom line is that love does exist but behind the doors and not in public. Now a tiny kiss on the forehead is more meaningful than that on the lips. Now this 2 jism ek jaan funda doesn’t work in most of the cases, especially in my case.
Me Time isn’t We Time
Even if you do not agree with me on the above points, this one would surely be true in the case of many of you. While a couple loves to stay together, there are time when both or just one would need his/her personal space and time. And that’s absolutely acceptable. Many of you (women) would think that this applies only in the case of a men, let me stop you here and say, this also applies to us. We women (especially I) complain a lot about our husbands spending less time with the family but given a chance, we would also love to sit alone for a while with our cup of tea or a favourite book. It’s important to spend time with each other and the family, it’s also important to have your own space the let the other one have their. What do you think?
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While the decade is gone, it left behind a few changes in our life. Good or bad; I leave that to you to figure it out.
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Untill Next time
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sahi baat… love is no more a fantasy word for us.. with time comes that maturity. loved reading it. beautifully written.
I agree on most if your points and the strongest one i could relate with was the me time is me time and not we time. We all need our own space where we need time just for ourselves which keeps us sane. Even the 2 jism 2 jaan is bang on.
You’re spot on with this post!
I certainly am very possessive about my car!! Shes no Ferrari but shes mine!! 😄
Struck a chord with the other points too.
Good look at the last decade!!
A very revealing post on how social norms change with changing times. Love is no different. Gone or the days of wooing the beloved with poetry. Nowadays youngsters like to propose in a pub over a glass of wine. Love and its meaning just like everything else is changing.
Very much logical write up with the change of time, yes, now a days they are not being dependent on each other in case of financial issues, though i have still not found any girl who is buying for his boyfriend in the Valentine’;s day but somewhere its happening.people have become more practical with time.
It was really an wonderful read specially for me who have(had) deep faith on love.
Yeah rightly said Parul , spending sometime with yourself , loving yourself is equally important as that makes you feel fresh to get all the day going with others!!
So agree with you on max of the points Parul specially on “Me time is not We time”, now even after marriage girls don’t need to get overshadow by their partner’s identity, they are beautifully. able to maintain their own space, this is the best part of new era or decade. Things are getting change for the betterment on both sides. Very nice explained all the key points by you.
Hmmmm….I also go by these rules you’ve mentioned and it’s true that when we divide our zones, things get less complicated. And I have also started having “my time” sometimes even going out of station with friends. That way the frustration from both the sides is much reduced.
Parul I really appreciated the way you expressed honestly every tiny point with a strong message. I think the definition of love has changed somehow but not completely. It varies from person to person but yes in most of the cases it has changed. I think care concern and giving your time to your partner when he or she needed is more important than anything else. Emotions are as equally important as money. Lovely post dear! Your vision of a relationship is quite clear.
Emotional dependence is must in a relationship but financial dependence sometimes gets tricky, I agree. And yes we have been introduced to self-love and ‘loving yourself is not being selfish’ in the last decade only. nice and practical read 🙂
Loved your takeaways from the last decade. All of them are so true! We miss cheesy talks, yes! But the last one touched my heart. We do need a special ‘me’ time. Because in this chaos of life, we forget to love ourselves. Self love is the most needed at this hour. Lovely post, enjoyed it! Best wishes 🙂
A very practical approach to life, Parul. All your observations are valid, especially the one about Me time and mushy romantic notions. The rigours of life kill all drive to be cheesy in my opinion. Cheers!
Times are a changing and so should our equations. Totally agree with your post and love the honesty with which you have written
I liked your quirky take. Indeed personal space is to be valued for self-growth
Wow, that’s a well-written hatke post, I loved how you practically presented the reality.
I completely agree on your car love and also bullet gets added to it too {my experience}
I love my Me time a lot and yes we do need it, it helps you spend time with yourself better.
And well said about the house – ye mera ghar hai isme mere rules chalte hai, that gives a kick isn’t it…
A very well written article. The romantic notion of love is definitely down. The money, the time, the car, the bike all have acquired a new meaning.
Wishing you success.
Deepika
Agree with all your points Parul. But the one that I nodded hardest with a big silly grin was “Me time is not we-time”. This point has grown stronger after a baby in tow. I liked reading your take on the decade.
“The zone of tigers are fixed” loved that part. And when it comes to money I’m a bit further. My husband’s money is my money, but my money is my own money ….😜 Don’t get jealous boys he accepts this.
What a practical post! The definition of love has definitely changed from being a chemical reaction to something that resides at the fringes of everyday living. And the need for me time and us time has taken a life of it’s own after the kids!
Parul i couldn’t agree mroe with u. every word is on point. we have evolved a lot over the last decade and its all for better and being more practical… Money wise..be wise…! Our x generation consider it as selfish but setting the ground right indeed makes things simpler in long run. Needless to say, let the emotional drama stay in Bollywood only.. Enjoy life without the baggage of ur partner.. 🙂
A unique post that hits all the right buttons. Ditto on “Me time is not we time”. We all feel guilty about putting ourselves first. But we do need our solitude and me time to keep going. Wishing you the very best.
This decade has been a game-changer indeed. When I compare my married years to u youngsters I feel like an alien from Mars :). There are positives and negatives in both and now women empowerment is here to stay. Love the confident financially independent women of today. The private space as u say and Me time is absolutely essential. Well said Parul.
Loved the humor and tone here and plentiful use of Hinglish here, this is so this gen so fresh and just so fun to read
I quite agree with your post, people have become practical and things have changed in the last decade. In the midst of managing responsibilities its important to have your space.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. There was fun, humour and honesty. Some of the points resonated with me as well. Wish you a great new decade!
A very relatable post and I agree on the points you’ve mentioned.
Love was not the same what it was 10 years back for sure.
Very true.. The most relatable point was “Me time “.You have nicely shown how time is evolving and I cant agree more..!!!
A different take on the prompt. I loved the way you captured how social norms change over time. The best part is that this post has all the elements like humor, honesty etc
A different take on the prompt. I loved the way you captured how social norms change over time. The best part is that this post has all the elements like humor, honesty etc
Such a cool, relatable post. We have to move with the times. Your honesty comes through this post!
Change is the only constant and we can see that in our emotions too.With changing times everything is changing and on a fast track. The “me time is definitely not we time” that was definitely a bull’eye hit. A very thought-provoking article.
Sahi baat ….we often quote ‘yaari pakki par kharcha apna apna ‘ …..we also divide our expenditure …last month we had this rule while buying grocery too …both of us carrying our own baskets …he buying all necessary rice wheat Dal ….I buy accessories like sauce , soap etc .It was fun too
A beautiful take on the decade. Love is a pure emotion. I hope someday it gets liberated from the so called brackets of sexuality. Loved this write up.
This post is such a breath of fresh air. I resonate with each of your points. Loved your writing style. Best wishes for future decades.
Very different take on the past decade…I could also perfectly relate to the “Me time is not We time” and men do love their cars… 🙂 no doubt there…:)
More of family time can make life better you wrote about the practical scene of today 😊
I loved your post. It was funny and honest. I completely agree with all your points, and honestly, I also cannot decide its good or bad. I would say times have changed and so have relationships. Each relationship is different and it is up to the two people involved, how they shape it. Me time is good but sometimes too much of me and very less of we, takes a toll. It’s all about striking the balance. 🙂
Fanta Parul! Having been married to close to 15 years I agree with most of your learnings!! Good luck for the years to come.
I agree to most of the points you’ve mentioned and the Hinglish is the fun element of this post. Well done, you.
You have written about such relevant situations..With time outlooks change.. It was a very honest post.. Loved it..
i agree with all the points . loved the humor
Honestly, this post was like reading my own diary in many aspects. Financial independence and Me time can not be let go in today’s time.Secretly we might still wish for the cheesy love, but with age comes maturity.
Love thyself and everything else will fall in place. Beautiful post Parul. Just the right amounts of humor to put across a very deep topic. Well done <3
Totally agree Parul! As we grow older, the definition of love changes!
Totally agree Parul! As we grow older the definition of love changes!
Me times isn’t we time—so very true. Loved your fun voice throughout.
A practical post on mature love. Over the years, we realise one cannot live on love and fresh air. Every person needs to maintain their own identity and your post beautifully emphasises just that.
It is a post written by someone who has lost her heart but has her mind in place! 🙂
Couldn’t have agreed more with the changes… Yes the GenX has definitely brought some changes in the outlook of life and love and trust me it is for the good.
Sharing of finance and having a me time may seem like a trend to some but trust me that is what is keeping a lot of marriages intact.. Wonderful observation.
Parul, I am sure most if us will resonate with your post.
All the points are agreeable, especially the me time is just my time
Look forward to reading more 😊
Bang on post, I must say Parul. You have struck the right chord, the most connected I felt with the point me time is not we point. A good take on the prompt.