You’ll Always Be Waiting For A Surprise

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#MyFirstEverBlog #Throwback

I am in my “newly turned mommy” phase. We didn’t plan it, but it came as a surprise to us. Unlike other women, I was not that confident for the same, but gradually I accepted the fact.

Very soon, I completed 7 months of my pregnancy and entered into 8th. I am a girl who loves getting surprises, but hate demanding the same. Seeing my easy pregy days ending, I always thought that any coming day my husband would surprise me with a short, but pampering baby-moon. Yes, the surprise did come to me, but with only one ticket on the cart and it was his. He said he wanted this trip and I couldn’t say no, but somewhere the reason he gave, confused me a bit. “My life is about to change aur phir main kahan aise ja paunga” is what I heard from him. REALLY? His life was about to change? And then he would be the one confined for good 6 months or may be more? This question kept on teasing me for some days.

Soon we were blessed with a baby girl. Holding my daughter in my arms, at the pickup point of the hospital, my eyes waited for another surprise, a “Toyota Fortuner” that we once decided would be bought and our child would be brought home only in the same. My husband before my due date, made it very clear that we aren’t buying the new car, but still my eyes waited for it at the hospital gate. Spotting my husband’s old car approaching us from a distance, shattered my wait for the surprise. Sometimes, people do not understand the value for the moment and the fact that it won’t come back to complete what you left incomplete. 

My daughter is 3-months-old now and I hardly get any time for myself. But the other day, sitting alone, sipping a cup of coffee, while she was busy smiling with her dreams, my husband’s line forced me to rewind and think of the changes in our lives. Yes, things have changed, but majorly for whom? His life diary now has a recent “official trip” to Mumbai, an upcoming trip to Kashmir, and then to China and then Jaipur. He goes out with his friends, to spend some time alone or even to pamper his car. And my life, it has no baby-moon, no more “me time”, no more office, no friends, no shopping, and no sleep… nothing. No, I am not complaining or jealous, just alone and hence frustrated.

At times, I used to lock myself up in my bathroom and cry out without hinting anyone, until yesterday a beautiful line by lord Krishna in Bhagwat Geeta taught me a lot. “If you don’t fight for what you want, don’t cry for what you lost.” So, all you newly turned mommies or soon to be mommies, express yourself, your feelings, and your expectations. Demand for it because no one’s going to understand on their own and then like me, “You’ll Always Wait for a Surprise”. 

Posted Originally on : Momspresso