While all of us, as a couple, wants to be as Adam and Eve; it is bound that arguments and those little flight are sure to be a part of the relationship. Arguments are a part of every relationship and this is something that is irresistible. So be it be the relationship of a daughter-in law and a mother-in law, a son and a father or a husband and wife, disputes happen everywhere. While these are unavoidable, they surely are manageable. In these few years of being in a relationship, there are a few things that I have learnt to manage arguments in any relationship.
The only mantra that can work to end the argument that might have just struck your relationship is to talk. I know this must have been told to you by “n” number of people but it surely stands true. The fact remains that no one can actually read your mind. So it is better not to sulk and just say it out load. At times what makes you feel bad might not stand that important for your partner. So it is better to sit and talk about the issue rather than dragging it. An initial talk can help you avoid some days-long cold fight which isn’t very healthy for your relationship.
Your Tone Does Matter
It is important to know that your tone or pitch, in an argument, is the naughtiest one. You have to keep it in control to ensure the arguments doesn’t blow the roof off. The biggest facts can be digested with a subtle tone while a small thing can prove to be a nuclear bomb if the tone isn’t right. While I won’t disagree on the fact that in an argument, it sometimes get difficult to control your words or tone or even your pitch but trust me everything can go wrong if your tone goes wrong. To manage an arguments you first need to manage your tone.
Never Dig the Past
“Yeh Bada Hathiyaar Hai; isse badi ladai mein istemaal karenge” (This is a big weapon and will be used in a bigger fight). How many of you remember this dialogue from a Bollywood movie? Many of us, be it be men or women, have a tendency of digging the past out in an argument. A discussion about a matter that has happened in the past is usually brought up in the next fight which end up taking the matter to an extreme level. While it isn’t easy, I would still say that the past should always remain in the past and never be brought again. Either talk about a problem at the very same time or don’t talk about it at all. Always focus on the topic that’s running today and it will be easier for you to solve the matters. Taking references from the past will only exaggerate the issue and take it far from getting solved.
Mind your words
We, usually in an argument, end up saying a lot that things that we actually do not mean. Or, at times, we do not pick the right words to frame a sentence which ends up changing the entire meaning of the conversation. No matter how angry or hurt you may be, always keep your words in control and think before you say; for a wrongly frame sentence can change the entire game and tamper the relationship forever.
Never Argue in Public
This is a key principal I and my husband like by. No matter what happen, we NEVER ARGUE IN PUBLIC. Expression of love in public is absolutely your choice but when it comes to arguments, public display for same will only damage the relationship further. Misunderstandings are irresistible but discussing and solving them behind the doors is the easiest and the best way to opt. When you argue behind the doors, the matter remains between you 2 but when the discussion becomes public, it’s sure to get worst. Also, even after a while, when you’ll move on and solve the matters, your public arguments will always be a point of discussion amongst others. The fact remains that only you 2 or maybe your closest friend or your parents would wish to solve the issue without making a buzz about it. Others are sure to make you a point of talk over drinks.
Timing is the key
To solve an argument in any relationship it’s important to talk but WHEN TO TALK is prime. There might be times when the other person may not be in a good spirits that is the time you do not want to mention the point of argument. Always give yourself and the other person some time to calm down before you attempt to discuss over the matter. Sulking is not what’s suggested but its chief to understand that solutions can only be found with a cool mind and temperament. Let yourself some time and things will start falling in place for sure.
Before signing off I’ll only say that if you want your relationship to bloom, make it a point to Never Sleep Angry. Solve the matters before going to bed and wake up with a fresh mind and a happy heart.